Q&A #4

I’m still trying to understand if my being high-value is the same as offering value in business. For example, does Todd being a high-value individual impact the value I receive from Value Masterclass? Does Jeff Bezos’ value affect the value I receive from Amazon?

The answer is actually less than the question implies. You’re not getting extra value from Amazon because Jeff Bezos is high-value. You’re getting the value of Amazon products and their service.

The definition of a good company or product is the ability to help many people and therefore be paid for that help. In the sense of Todd literally teaching you value, you would hope that his being high-value will help you have more value and achieve more out of it. There would be nothing for Todd to teach if he was a zero-value. In this case, it is central to Value Masterclass that Todd is high-value. 

If you were working in the business, Jeff Bezos having social value could help negotiate better contracts for the company. Having him as an ally could be useful due to his value. He also has traits that help run a business better.

High-value traits with women and society do transfer over to business. It’s not an ethos that transponds from one person onto everything they touch. What you want to do is to take out the parts that have a man-to-woman premise and use a relevant business premise instead. You can use shared value that’s mutually beneficial such as contracts. You also want tone down being polarizing and tone up oferring value and providing relationships by overdelivering and leaving people satisfied.

There is a concept in negotiating of giving back a little at the end. If you can negotiate for a 90-10 situation, you should give a little back and make it 85-15. This is so that they walk away without feeling used and will have future business with you. This is a much better value in the long term. You want to think more about the tangible value being offered rather than the social or perceived value because business is about doing business.

 

If you could apply the 80-20 rule to this Masterclass of value, what would you focus on and what exercises should we start practicing? 

There are 5 to 10 exercises that Todd specifically said to do. Do the ones that are most congruent to you. Think about what you are doing the wrongest. It’s recommended to do and focus on at least one inner game exercise. 

You want to develop an understanding and recognition when specific situations come up in life. You will start to see different dynamics play out. There will be situations where the person paying or not paying attention is going to change the dynamic. This will naturally filter into your behavior. 

 

How do high-value people make decisions for the group? Do they ask where everyone wants to go or are they automatically making the decision for them? 

There is a time and place for both.

It depends on the importance. If everyone is out for a company lunch to hang out, you can pick any reasonable restaurant instead of polling everyone. You can ask people afterward to show people you care and pick another restaurant that meets the criteria. For big projects, it is important to get buy-in from people. People on the ground level of dealing with something will have a perspective or know something that people in higher management may not know. It’s important to buy-in because people don’t like being handed orders and would rather be participating in the decision-making process. At the end of the day, letting people what they want isn’t effective for staying on task and being motivated. 

Teams can scale what individuals can do. There’s no point in having a team if you’re going to be making all the decisions. Part of leading a team is trusting it. In terms of getting a decision done or asserting your authority, you can do whatever you want. In terms of getting a good result and leading to achieve something, it is important to critically important to get proper feedback, including people, and getting buy-in.

 

Can you speak to being successful in your mid-thirties and meeting or attracting girls in their early 20’s? 

It’s not a hard thing at all. Men are lucky because our value stays the same or increases as we age. 

Mid-thirties can be considered as a man’s prime. You are successful and adult enough to have resources at your disposal. You’re still young enough to play the “young hot guy” role if you were taking care of yourself. 

The biggest issue is an incongruence or intimidation factor of why you even like them. The girl might feel insecure around you since they only being their looks to the table. She might also think you have an agenda for sex since her looks are the only thing for her on the table. It comes down to getting them to open up and know them as people as opposed to objectifying them. 

This is not a difficult situation because you have value. Adding more comfort is doable if you have value. Being low-value and high comfort and convincing someone you’re high-value is harder than adding comfort when you have a high value. 

 

What is Todd’s UVP? 

There are a few different types of guys. There are guys who can spark emotion and guys who don’t. There are guys that are interesting or boring. Guys who are interesting take it for granted and don’t take the time and energy to use it at its maximum. 

Todd has been on both ends of the spectrum and knows how to merge them. He’s the guy who is emotionally relevant and also has depth, ability, and willingness to help a girl grow. This is a better package than what most guys will offer. 

He’s not a total stud with an amazing body. Todd is still a good-looking guy. He takes care of his appearance and in decent shape. He is also a successful guy. This is a dichotomy of “young and hot but successful.”

He has a lot of life knowledge. He knows how to succeed in things and knows how to teach it. This makes the lives of people around Todd enhanced. 

Todd knows the dance. He knows how to flirt. He knows how to escalate and entice the girl. He knows how to take a girl home and not make her feel slutty. He knows how to progress things in a relationship. He knows how to tease and make things good sexually. 

He is good at conveying status. He has been around a lot of guys who are high-value and high status. He can make a girl feel high-value around him. He can be used as social proof or value elevation to her friends. He frames himself as a catch to her and her friends to make feel like she’s winning when she’s with me. 

There are some things that can contribute. A same nerdy view on something or hobby can contribute. 

 

Can we get good examples on challenging and polarizing?

There are several lines that work in terms of being polarizing and challenging in an in-person conversation. “You and I wouldn’t get along.”Wow, you can go now.” “I can’t believe you just said that.” “Wow, I just starting to like you.”

There are some push-pulls you can use in written communication. “You’re adorable. Fingers crossed you’re not crazy.” You can say “If you’re X, swipe left” or “Not interested unless X, Y, Z” on a profile. “Life’s too short to dance with fat chicks” was an old one that worked but may not work in current dating app formatting. 

Giving a genuine well-earned compliment is one way of being polarizing in a positive way. “When I first met you, you were A but now, you stood out because you’re X, Y, Z and I’m impressed.”

You can also be polarizing in a way that makes you look high-value.

“Most of the girls I dated went to Harvard” is slightly controversial to say but still stands out in a positive way. 

 

How do you let go of the filter when speaking?

Just do it. Practice it. It gets easier when you see the results. You want to create a positive feedback cycle. It doesn’t matter where you start. 

It’s like jumping off a high dive. It’s scary but you just do it. 

You could do a progression desensitization exercise if necessary. It’s better to just give yourself permission to act the way you act around friends. 

 

What makes a good polarizing bio?

Something that would get attention is good. It can be a little “You can’t have me” or “I’m above this.” It should come off as aloof rather than tryhard. “Don’t be offended if I don’t write back. I’m pretty busy” is a good light polarizing way of saying you get a lot of messages. “I may appear arrogant and unattainable. That’s because I am” was a bio that worked for Todd’s online experiment. This worked because it was congruent with the photos and how Todd displayed himself in text and in-person. It’s not perfect but it gets the idea across. 

You can also polarize by talking about a good and bad trait. “I’m a little douchey but I care about children” is a good example. 

 

How do you know the girl wasn’t a hoe in the past?

You can only find that out over time. Girls will portray themselves differently with different guys. Some girls will try to be adventurous and playful if you push things that way and she is impressed by it. Some girls will also play the shy girl card when they have been with many guys. 

You need to get an assessment over time by watching her behaviors. Look at how much the girl puts a price on herself and the standard she would make a guy go through to have sex with her. A girl could be lying to you if she says she hasn’t been with boys a lot but jumps straight into bed for sex. Trust actions more than words. 

You should be more worried if she’s going to be a hoe now or in the future. It shouldn’t matter who she slept with unless if she has an STD. You should be concerned about how she acts and what she believes in now. 

As the girl is telling a story, ask yourself these questions. Do you believe this story? Is it congruent with her actions? Is the story congruent with the behaviors and emotions she’s shown?

 

Assuming we become masculine high-value over a period of time, what are some feminine high-value behaviors we should seek in a prospect?

It’s not universal. You shouldn’t choose a girl because you or other people think she’s high-value. You should choose the girl that brings the best to your relationship and based on things like good sex and if she would be a good mother to your kids. 

You should be talking to a lot of girls and finding out who resonates with you the most instead of looking for high-value traits. Think about what girl you genuinely like instead of a girl you would use as a trophy. This girl will probably be relatively high-value due to the appeal of similar traits. 

This is a good way to end up a hot girl on Instagram who ends up being a nightmare in real life. The better question to ask what you resonate with and what makes you particularly happy. 

 

What are some exercises, books you can read, or education that helps you with verbal capacity, paraphrasing, and communicating more precisely? 

There are different ways to improve verbal capacity. You can read or do, if you can, improvisational comedy, public comedy, stand-up comedy, and funny movies.

Reading and appreciating quotation was a big one for Todd. Find a person you like and search for quotes by them. Think about what you like about them. Incorporate it into your own speech. A quote that resonates with Todd is “Peace is a period of cheating between two fighting periods”  from The Devil’s Dictionary. The person can even be fictional. 

Reading some fiction will help people understand how to story-tell and carry plot and dialogue through osmosis. 

 

Should I spend my time on social media just for the sake of getting girls?

It’s up to you and your return on investments. Todd finds them distracting and takes up a lot of hours. He would rather go to traditional dating sites where girls know their purpose for being there. 

Be on social media if the girl you want is on social media a lot and you’re getting a return from hitting them up on social media. 

If the question is asking if you should spend time making your social media good, the answer is very often yes. Having no social media is not that bad. It’s better off to have no social media than bad social media with a few lame photos and no friends. There’s good enough social media with a new post every couple weeks with several hundred friends online. You can use social media as an advertisement for your life if you want to put in the time and effort. It does have diminishing returns at some point. It’s worth it if you’re truly dedicated to being great with girls and reducing your flaking as much as possible. 

Get your social media to a net positive at the bare minimum for sanity’s sake. This is so a girl doesn’t look at your social media and go “Never mind.”Once you start getting results, you should be motivated to keep improving until your returns diminish. It is very useful if you’re in your early 20’s and want to date girls. 

 

How to convey value in Europe where playing unattainable doesn’t work, especially in online dating?

 

The same things still work. You just have to tone down the ratio and harshness. You can still say polarizing things. You can say 1 polarizing thing in a 15 line profile instead of 1 or 2 in a 10 line profile. How girls react to you is not a choice. 

The difference in Europe is how girls are socialized. American culture has the idea of a rugged individualist and celebrity culture. Europeans have a different form of what they’ve been conditioned to think of as high-value or polarizing. It might not translate culturally if you use American polarizing in Europe. You can do references to European stars instead of American stars. You just have to make sure that it is translated in a correct way culturally and calibrated well. There is a Jerry Seinfield commercial where he takes the same principles that made him funny in the USA and translated it into Britsh culture due to his American jokes falling flat to the British beforehand. This did not happen in real life, but the idea should be understood. 

 

Can you talk about how to convey the UVP in game? How do you get a girl to see your UVP?

You’re going to do it little by little by subtle word choice and choice of story. 

Let’s say you have a UVP of a successful guy. If a girl asks what you do for a living, you want to answer it so it conveys successful qualities in an aloof way. A lot of successful people don’t like actually talking about their work. The girl might be provoked to know more if you act in a mysterious way. 

If you want to convey that you know the dance, you could convey a story about flirting with a girl. You could also point out what some people are doing to show you’re also socially aware. 

You can also convey something that you know about the hot girl industry if your UVP is a high-value guy who dated girls in that industry before. 

Some generally attractive qualities hint at your UVP. Being dismissive hints at being abundant. 

Every single time you open your mouth, you give people two bits of information. You’re giving people what was literally said. You’re also giving people all the things they can imply from what you said. You also want to be talking in subjects that you’re knowledgable in. 

 

How do we know when we need to game less when infield and balance the baseline?

You’re assessing a couple of things. You’re assessing if a girl needs more comfort or value. You need to ease off and chill if the girl is acting tense or nervous because she doesn’t want to say the wrong thing. You may need to up the value if she’s becoming too complacent. 

Think about the gaminess ratio. If it seems too scripted or too much like a movie scene, you would back off and normalize it. What happens is that you eventually go too far with value. There have been instances of girls suddenly snapping at Todd after liking him more throughout the interaction. You have to have a sense of when you went too far and back off.