(1:41) What is a good way to make approaching a good habit?
You should just do it like any other habit. You’re never going to build a habit of approaching if you sit around and give yourself excuses to not approach.
You can integrate it into your life and have things that trigger you to do these things. You can put in your calendar and have it happen after a common thing. You can do day game on your way to the gym. You can also go to the park on Saturdays and do approaches in a time frame. This is all helpful in making it a habit.
The major thing is to be hard on yourself when you don’t do it and make sure you do better next time. When Todd started approaching in college, he had an ethic where every hot girl had to be approached no matter what. The only thing that held him back was that he didn’t know how to approach girls in groups until two years later that point. The main thing was that it was painful for Todd to not approach a hot girl and he would be hard on himself for it.
A routine he did was get his food in the college cafeteria and look around to see if there was a hot girl sitting by herself and try and sit with her to get some small talk or leeway with the girl. Another routine he did was to do homework in the Student Center as opposed to his dorm so he could occasionally look up to see hot girls to approach. Another little thing he did was to walk at a different pace than other people to be able to talk to a girl while going in the direction of classes.
(5:52) What is a good way of conveying yourself on a Tinder bio?
Todd is actually releasing a Youtube video on this.
Your bio should get attention. You can get it with outlandish photos or headlines if available. The first few sentences you’ve written can go a long way if they are unique or stand out.
You also need to tell a story. You should be thinking to yourself, “If I was a girl and had to summarize my bio in 2-3 sentences, what would it be?”This summary should stand out from other guys in a positive way. It will help if it hits on certain positive archetypes or high-value things. There are many archetypes that you can choose to be, such as the ambitious and successful guy or the attractive and sexy guy. This messaging should be congruent and clear.
It helps a lot if it is well written. What Todd likes to do is to use quotes from good male archetypes or witty and clever phrases from movies that convey how he wants to convey himself. This ensures that the bio is engaging and well written enough to be memorable. Quotes from movies and TV are a good start for bios since they are memorable by nature. If the complete quote does not highlight exactly what you want but you find it witty, you can change some phrases or frame the quote in a way so that the high-value traits you want to show are conveyed. There are millions of quotes to choose from but you should only be using a small fraction of them. It is not a tedious task to dig for quotes to use and it may end up being a fun use of some downtime.
Todd is currently doing an experiment where he has drastically different profiles on all the big online dating platforms to show different things that can work.
(11:08) How can I feel comfortable showing sexual interest? I feel immoral asking a girl to have sex with me when we are not in a relationship.
This is not a game problem. This is a problem with how you view yourself and having sex.
You need to view sex as a fun and mutual addition to her life that you can do with the girl. You are giving her one of the best and high-pleasure experiences she can have in life by having sex with her.
You also need to get rid of the view that having sex with the girl would harm the girl socially. Instead, you should be thinking that you are socially enhancing the girl. Leonardo DiCaprio would not think that he is harming a girl by getting her to have sex with him. She would most likely be bragging that she had sex with him.
You should really sit down and think to yourself about your viewpoint on sex. You can make two lists with what you currently think about sex and how an ideal man would view sex. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you find yourself thinking the wrong way. It’s hard to change thought patterns quickly and could take a long time.
Remind yourself of when you catch yourself thinking the wrong way. “I caught myself being low self-esteem about the value I bring to the table.”“I caught myself thinking in the 1800s when it’s 2020.”
You should really delineate what it is you are thinking about sex and think about how it is affecting you. Think about how it affects you interact with women, how you view sex, etc.. You should then think about what is the more “correct” or more productive way.
(13:52) How should I behave in a relationship? I feel building comfort with a girl because I think it will lead to her seeing me as less value.
The idea that building comfort destroys value is kind of true. If you have a value based on disqualification and being gamey early in pickup, it can show a little incongruence if you show that you are willing to chase and care after building connections. This is the problem when you create your value only based on disqualification.
Disqualification is a great tool since it will get you attention and a little attraction.That time and attention you get is only a means to the end. It’s only meant to be used as a window so you can convey your actual high-value traits and experiences that become the core of the relationship.
When you are building comfort later on, you are building value in a different way. You’re building your value through your inherent qualities and opinions. This is building less off of disqualification. You can still continue to do a little bit of disqualification during the “comfort phase.”
You should be starting out a little gamey and pushing the girl away and doing less of it later on. You shouldn’t drop it entirely. You can be 70% gamey in the first few minutes, 20% gamey at a date, and 10% gamey in a relationship. You become boring and are essentially cheating the girl if you drop it entirely because that is the thing that got the girl attracted. Keep doing something if it is working. You should be dropping it based on the context of the relationship and how deep you are in it. There are times when it is necessary to put things in a gamey frame even in a relationship.
(17:35) I rate myself as 9/10 because I would still lose to Leonardo Dicaprio no matter what. How can I make that final push to see me as the final 10?
There will be guys in the world who can give the girl more than you in a particular area. You will lose to them if you define your value in that area. You can maybe beat them if you define your value more holistically. Leonardo Dicaprio will be able to spend more resources on the girl and be more braggable to others than you will be no matter what.
There is more to it in game. There is still value in getting to know you. If you can get the time of attention from the girl, you can build a type of value that nobody else can compete with.
Even with all of his experience and knowledge, Todd will still not be able to build as much attraction as Leonardo Dicaprio. He can still be more relevant to a girl who has a history with him. He has a shared experience and is not so high-value that the girl is scared of him not sticking around. It can go a long way if there is a narrative and shared story that you and the girl are basing the relationship off of.
You don’t have to individually compete with everyone on every level. You don’t even need to compete with one guy on an overall level because you are a different person with different traits and characteristics. The same girl could be okay with dating a successful and ambitious business guy or a spiritual yoga guy with good social proof. They are both high-value in different ways.
You need to choose your way that you are high-value and be very high-value in that one particular regard. There will always be someone who has more than you when you are playing general game. You get to choose the rules of being high-value if you pick the playing field. Leonardo Dicaprio would crush Todd in many typical playing fields. Todd can still choose a playing field within the interaction where he will beat anybody else.
It has a lot to do with created value over existent value. You can have a more unique type of value the more time and history you have with the girl.
(21:36) I find it hard to establish value due to not growing up in an American setting. How do I overcome when these situations come up?
Every single cultural iconography asks this. Todd had people with UK accents ask this question due to girls not understanding their accents. On the other hand, there are girls who will swoon once they hear that accent.
Even people from stereotypically cultural iconographies are quick to use their attributes as excuses for their problems. This is usually not the case. An accent usually magnifies what trait you have. If you’re attractive and have an accent, your attractiveness will be magnified. If you’re unattractive and have an accent, you would be less memorable and more annoying.
Any unusual quality you have only magnifies what inherent qualities you have. Make the most out of the inherent qualities you have. Having an accent can be framed as “I don’t fit in, I am an outcast” or “I’m cool, exotic, and worldly, and you’re a silly American who has not traveled the world.” Choosing the “I don’t fit in” frame will only hurt you. Choosing the frame where you’re foreign and exotic will go positive for you.
There are some cultures that are stereotypically more attractive than others in America. These stereotypes can be different in different countries. Todd has students from an Indian culture who feel they are less attractive due to their background. American guys think Russian girls are the most beautiful. Strangely enough, Russian girls love Indian men more than other cultures. It’s funny when Todd, who also likes Russian girls, wished he was Indian when he sees an Indian guy doing well with a Russian girl. It’s relative how attractive a man from a particular culture is viewed. Every culture has its own positive and negative elements in their stereotype. You want to play up the positive parts and play down the negative ones.
If you are actually hard to understand, work on your language skills. It does not mean that you can’t get girls in the meantime. Speaking more clearly makes you look more educated. It’s another sign of competence and value. Your message will also get across with less static and fuzz around it.
It can also hurt you in terms of tonality. Southeastern Asian people come off as more soft-spoken because of their linguistic habits. This makes them speak soft in English, which comes off as less assertive. These people need to work on sounding more assertive. Indian people often sounds serious due to their accents and language, so they have to work on sounding more playful.
This whole issue is still not a big deal despite these factors. This is not something that would hinder you. Todd has taught people of various ethnicities with varying amounts of cultural assimilation and saw them succeed. Dressing better and caring how you act will all help you. You can also frame the conversation so your cultural values are the things of value and make yourself more uniquely valuable.
(28:59) With some friends, I am witty but with others, I can’t be witty and I feel like I’m forcing myself to get good responses. How do I always be witty?
Part of this has to do with comfort. If you feel comfortable enough around some people, you’re able to joke around and take some risks.
Part of it also has to do with chemistry. You are wittier in some conversations than others due to the nature of them. There will be people with either good chemistry with you for joking or people with worse chemistry where you can’t joke around them. There are girls who are more serious and logical and will require less banter when picking them up because they don’t inherently banter. There are other girls who bring the banter out of a guy because it is in their nature, which will then make the guy be wittier. Each person’s banter will feed the other person’s banter and it will end up creating a cycle.
It could also be an inner game thing. “Do I believe I have value in that circumstance?” “Do I believe that I’m allowed to tease and joke in a certain way?”
It is helpful to be a little witty and clever most of the time. It is not necessary. It is one of a hundred different ways to show value. There are many more ways to show value in a calibrated way if you feel nervous and can’t be witty or if your wittiness is not at its premium.
Being witty and having banter can be a good way of conveying value and creating a vibe with one girl. Being a little deep, serious, and interesting can be conveying high value to another girl since she values different things.
This is why it is good to not be a one-trick pony in game. If that one line or trick doesn’t work, you’re done for. It is good to have other things to cycle with if one thing doesn’t work.
It is good to try to be witty to a certain point. Understand that not every conversation is meant to be witty. How witty the other person is and how responsive they are to your banter will generate that part of your behavior and personality.
(33:18) What process should I go through to feel like a 10/10 entitled male? I feel like a 5/10 and feel fake every time I game.
This is similar to the previous question but in a different degree. This is still a question of self-viewing. The first person thought highly of himself while this person thinks much less of himself.
Understand that a 5 is pretty bad. It’s unlikely you’re actually a 5.
People have an inherent trait to compare themselves to what they perceive as higher-value things. People will compare themselves to ads or popular culture they see on media. Kids will more likely compare themselves to the popular rather than the unpopular kids who go into obscurity.
There are many little things that trick you into thinking the world is higher-value than you think it is. Todd used to suggest to go to Walmart and watch the people coming in the door. What you see is the true cross-section of humanity. It may be a little skewed down but many people will go to a Walmart at some point in their lives. It’s wrong to believe that the average is the people you see at an airport. Most people can’t afford to travel or barely travel. You’re talking about the top 20% of humanity when you look around the airport. You’re in the 80th to 90th percentile if you’re in the average of that.
Most of the people you are competing against have things that are going against them. It’s incredibly negative to think that you’re a 5. By definition, you’re more than a 5 if you have at least the ambition to get on Todd’s call. It’s very easy to compare yourself to other things in a harmful matter. A lot of attractive girls think they’re ugly because they’re comparing themselves to Instagram models. This is just a phenomenon that we just compare ourselves to what we see. Understand that you’re probably estimating yourself low if you rate yourself a 5 on a 1-10 scale.
Similarly to the previous question, creating a frame, deciding which value platform to play on, and the other techniques mentioned will help you in game.
(37:20) How do I text a girl after we had a good first date?
Every single girl is going to be different. You’re going to have different interactions and followups with each girl.
The best way to text a girl after the first date is to wait for her to text you back first because she was so enamored with you. It’s the best result when the girl texts you at her home after you’ve slept with her. It’s very easy not to mess up if this is the case. You just have to be a fairly normal human being without needing to be flirty in the followup text. It’s less optimal if you have to text her first but it sometimes can’t be helped.
Consider what you think is a good date. What you might consider a good date may be an awful date for others. It is possible to have a good date and not have sex and have a bad date and still have sex afterward. There can be scenarios where you and the girl have a superficial date with barely any connections made but have sex. There can also be scenarios where you and the girl have a date with a lot of connections but the girl doesn’t do sex on the first date or other obstacles. 90% of the times you’ve had sex with a girl after a date means that you had a good date. It’s funny that it may be worse if you get close to having sex but end up not having sex. It may be easier to follow up after a date with casual conversations than one with making out and contact. It really depends on the girl’s perception rather than a checklist of events.
Understand that you need to have an actual good date rather than an arbitrary definition of a good date. The criteria for a good date should come from the girl’s experience. The date shouldn’t be judged based on events, although there will be certain events that will usually happen after a good date. Good texting should relate to the good context that was created at the date.
Texting after the first date should be the same as texting before the first date with a lot less assurance. There should be less of proving yourself and doing game. There should be more assumption that you like each other and want to hang out with each other a second time. This should already be the frame before the date anyway. There’s more leeway in texting after the first date than before the first date. You should probably buy in more into her responses and get more positive feedback. Don’t wait days to text her back as that would look weird when the girl backward rationalizes it. It’s not a bad thing to wait half a day for her to text back and wait three quarters to a full day to text back to her.
(42:46) How do I eliminate jealousy? I feel I wasn’t high-value and she wasn’t invested when a girl I hooked up with sees other guys.
There are two forms of jealousy. There is legitimate and illegitimate jealousy. This may be a case of legitimate jealousy. “Concern” is a better word for this than “jealousy.”
Let’s say you’re in a relationship and the girl goes out to see her ex-boyfriend for a date or late night drinks. You should be concerned about this. It’s fucking weird that this is happening. This can lead to things rapidly devolving the relationship. You shouldn’t be needy and insecure about it. You should address her about it and how you don’t favor it especially if you’re in a monogamous relationship. It’s a little harder in a polyamorous relationship but it’s in range if it’s an ex-boyfriend with a deep history with her. You can talk about how it is not good for the relationship and not indicative of building trust in a positive relationship.
You should express it if there is a legitimate reason for concern. It should be done in as much of a high-value way as possible. You can even be understanding as opposed to being needy or weird about it. It’s stupid to leave a clear and present danger.
You need to tone it down if you’re getting jealous due to the girl and a waiter smiling at each other and acting friendly at a restaurant. Have a belief that she’s still with you for a reason. It isn’t worth defending the relationship if something trivial like that is causing harm to the relationship.
Jealousy towards someone is generally not good. Concern related to factors in the realm of jealousy is not necessarily bad. This is just your instincts telling you that something is going bad.
Act as relationally as you can. One thing you can do is to take a step back and think “If my friend asked the question I had, what would I say to it?” It will lead to greater results if you take the emotion out of the situation and be as rational as possible. This does not mean to not express concern when there is something that could legitimately harm the relationship. You should still protect your investment in the relationship.
(46:24) How do you have fun with game when there are no clear signs of improvement and not getting laid at a beginner level?
A lot of people define clear signs of improvement in an unhealthy way. It’s very binary if you judge improvement based on the frequency of getting laid or a specific number. It may be that you are getting massive improvement, but not against the benchmark you set. If Todd was racing against Michael Phelps in swimming without a time limit, the benchmark is set extremely high. Todd may be making massive improvements, but it is depressing for him since Phelps would be lapping him no matter what. If there was 0 and the level where you get laid, you may have made jumps from 0 towards the level where you get laid but you still don’t see the results. Consider changing your benchmarks if this is the issue.
You’re doing something massively wrong if you don’t get results with good benchmarks at a beginner level. You need to change what you’re doing to have fun in game. It shouldn’t be fun if you keep getting annihilated and experience failure. Change is needed if you’re not getting improvement when it is expected. Once you change it to something right, you should be getting more results and having more fun.
(49:53) Do students get rigged into telemarketers and doing cold calls when starting a set? What’s the worst thing that could happen and how to exit with some dignity left?
Whoever asked this is way too concerned with the girl’s reactions. Dignity comes from within you. It comes from how you believe about yourself. Nobody can take your dignity away. Gandhi had the most dignity in all of history and did not have it taken it away by the British Empire no matter what they did. You maintain your dignity by maintaining your dignity. No one can affect it but you. “No one can make you fear without your consent” is a quote from the feminist movement when women couldn’t vote. Judge yourself by your actions, not by a reaction of a random person.
This issue will happen even to the best of us. Strangely enough, it occurs more as you get better but the results are worth it. A telemarketer will move on from one call to another even if there is a bad result because he knows he did the right thing. Likewise, it is unhealthy for someone else’s actions to affect your dignity.
(52:53) I’m 38 and look 25. I suck at guessing a girl’s age and always worry that she might be too young.
Don’t approach a girl if she looks underage. Stay the fuck away if she looks 12. If you’re approaching a girl and you question her age, you can simply leave.
A good thing to do is to ask early on what they do for a living. You can get a grasp of their age quickly. You should be confident that the girl is of age if she has a job that requires an advanced degree, such as a doctor or lawyer. You can then flat out ask for her age if it is still a question. If she says she is a student, you can clarify that by asking if they attended any of the local colleges. If she says she is in high school, you can say “Oh, I was going to ask a question about nightlife, but I guess you won’t know about it. I’ll be on my way now.”It’s not going to be a big deal if you don’t make it a big deal. If you’re doing good game, the conversation shouldn’t be overtly sexual or gamey in any way.
Be smart and continue to be smart. Be smart about who you’re approaching and where you’re approaching. You can always test the age and leave if she turns out not of age. This is an issue that deters people more emotionally than it is a physical issue.
(56:39) Once you’ve got the girl to your or her place, how do you continue the interaction towards sex and eventually part ways in a high-value way?
The frame you’ve had throughout the interaction should be continued in the process. You should be carrying the idea that you’re not needy but willing to care.
Escalation towards sex should be taken with care. Being pushy and over escalating can lead to bad outcomes quickly. Make sure that there is a good amount of consent. Try to make it a collaborative effort where she is also escalating the conversation. This protects you from any negative things that could happen and will help you in terms of the frame afterward and making the girl want to see you later.
(59:56) How can you become congruent with high-value behaviors if you’re not in abundance? Should I fake it until I make it?
You should “fake it till you make it” to an extent. You should also be trying to make it.
There are two ways to get to the desired perception of yourself by the girl. One way is through conveying and faking that you are a high-value guy using game techniques. The other way is to be a high-value person and be yourself.
You can think of your goal as a mountain peak in the middle. You want to approach the desired perception using both ways simultaneously. It’s like scaling the mountain on both sides at the same time and meeting on top.
It’s still helpful if you were to improve on one side without improving the other. Strangely enough, it would motivate you to improve on the other side more. If you become more high-value, it’s easier to adopt the game behaviors since they’re based on simulating high value. If you simulate high value, you are going to get positive feedback that will encourage you to become more high-value.
If you just “fake it till you make it” using good game, you might make it since you will be around more high-value people and getting results that feed into a cycle. You will get put into situations that will motivate you to be a high-value person. It’s better to strive to be high-value in the first place and hitting both sides of the mountain.
(1:02:25) How can you use the OPEN structure in online dating? For instance, can we text a little bit more than 2 lines that serves a purpose and the girl’s already invested?
These two questions are completely unrelated form each other. They will be answered individually.
The OPEN model exists in online dating, but it is a little different. Just being in an online dating situation displays premise due to the nature of the site. You don’t have to do quite as much. You need to do more of building value and framing the premise.
There is going to be more evaluation going on. This makes sense since this is the next step after premise to establish good communication. You are going to see more evaluation in early communication and setup. You will also see it at the date since evaluation is part of its nature. There should still be some premise sprinkled throughout the conversation. You’re almost opening from an evaluation, which is a little weird. Your first messages can be a little challenging and can be evaluative or setting a frame for evaluation in nature. You kind of skip ahead since that premise is already set up.
The premise element is going to precede when you’ve met someone. This is unusual from cold approach, where you set premise after you’ve met someone. The dynamic is different, but the general progression is still the same. Some of the steps are just out of order due to the nature of the artificial means you’re using.
You can text the girl more than two lines, but you have to be careful. This is not something you want to do every time. You want to keep your texting as sparse and to the point as much as possible. Having more than 2 ideas in a text message is generally bad.
The question is basically if you can break the rules. These are guidelines, not rules, so you can break them. They do exist for a reason. You are not going to be doing as well as you could’ve if you start to disregard the guidelines completely. You should only be thinking about breaking them for a good reason. Your first instinct should not be to break the guidelines.
(1:06:58 ) How do you approach girls at work not at your workplace, such as waitresses?
You have some advantages and disadvantages. You’re not going to have a lot of time since the girl will be busy. You won’t be able to build a lot of comfort. The judgment of their coworkers will also factor in.
They’re going to have to open to you first. You can come in as the high-value guy and not have to give value away.
The immediate reception to you will be more positive since they’re getting paid to be social and friendly to you. You get a better platform to go off of.
You need to get past the frame that they’re working and that you’re treating them as an individual, not a function. You’re in good shape if you can get past that. Normal flirting is okay beyond this window. You need to close quickly and use the window as an asset. You can say “Oh, I know that you’re busy and everything but you seem like a cool person to know more about. Maybe we can grab a date. What’s your number?”
If she is your waitress, she is going to approach you first and come back to your table several times. You can be more aloof and dismissive since you know they have to come back due to their job. This is unlike cold approach, where you won’t see the girl again if you don’t get enough done in the initial minute.
You also may need to close in a way that’s not embarrassing to her coworkers. You can get her to write her number on the receipt as opposed to verbally. You can also premise it as a friendly exchange of information so she doesn’t look slutty in front of her coworkers.
(1:10:10) What’s a better city for game, New York, or Vegas?
Each setting has a different style of game. Big cities are better than small towns due to more abundance and an increased chance of meeting a girl you actually want. It’s fine as long as the city is a reasonable size.
New York and Vegas are good cities to game. They’re both party cities. It depends on what you’re looking for.
You should judge the city based on the types of girls you can live with in that city. Trust your skills and go where the fish are. Don’t go to a city based on whether game will be easier. Go based on the girls you want to meet and figure it out.
(1:11:50) How do you change a strategy for a girl who is responsive over text but isn’t keen on meeting up? How do you get her to meet up?
You need to try to ask why. You need to sus out what it is that’s holding her back.
One case could be that she has a boyfriend and feels weird about it but still enjoys the interaction. It might be that she likes you but is nervous since you’re a stranger. This will require you to build more value.
She might like you a bit but you may not be a priority. You may be in the friendzone and not be a bigger priority over her existing friends. You might need to change the frame of what’s going on.
It may be that she is too secure and doesn’t have an urgency to see you. She knows she can have you and doesn’t have you as a priority. She might come around more if you’re more scarce and pushing her away a little.
You need to go deeper to find out the reason she’s flaking. You can judge the reason based on her behavior and the nature of the conversation. You can guess with the parts of the conversation she’s flaking on. This will give you more than “Oh. she doesn’t seem keen on meeting up.”
If she’s nervous or reticent to meet up, you can take an intermediate step by giving her a phone call or FaceTime. This gives you more tools and actual interaction to convey value. You will also get more valid feedback. You have to infer the girl’s behavior and emotions when she texts back. When she’s FaceTiming you, you can visibly see her facial expressions and the tone of voice she’s using. You can also give her a more positive experience over phone or FaceTime that will change the underlying dynamic.
If the girl is not keen on meeting you one on one, you can invite her friends to come to an event. There could be cases where she’s fine with meeting up along and not bring her friends since you didn’t insist on a one on one meetup. If she brings her friends, you will still have other opportunities to convey value and meet her.
(1:16:10) Do you think meetup strategies should change with COVID-19?
Every single person is different. There are people who think it is a hoax and is perfectly fine with meeting up. These people don’t require any alteration. You might want to stay away from people who think of it as a bigger deal and care about their hygiene and other related matters.
It may be harder to meet up with people under these circumstances, but it’s not impossible. Todd has students and coaches who’s pulled girls who were serious about social distancing at first but got them to fly to a different country through online interactions. He’s also had one person whose date was serious about social distancing when talking on a date but she jumped on him and made out with him at the next date. It’s all about priorities. Everything in life is a risk. People inherently know this and want the reward to merit the risk.
You can also mitigate the risks by taking safety measures and conveying that you took them. One of Todd’s clients even had an antibody test that said he had COVID before and built immunity. It will put the girl more at ease when meeting up with you.
This is just a case of changing the initial phase slightly for some people and not needing to change it for others.
(1:19:10) What are Todd’s favorite recommendations and biggest influences on building a business, wealth, and investment strategies?
Todd started with equities and moved onto options. In most cases, Todd thinks equities are safer and the risk to reward is better. There are cases where trading options are better.
If you’re trading equities, you want to have an advantage in the fact if the stock is good or bad. Your edge is a better knowledge of the stock.
If you’re trading options, there’s the stock and range of outcomes. It’s not only if the stock will go into your favor. It’s also what the likely result is if it is in favor. There may be such extreme cases that there may be an options way to invest in it rather than in an equity way. The stock represents the average prices of all the outcomes. If the outcomes are very skewed from a normal distribution curve, you may have a better chance of trading with options than equities. You have to be careful since there are a lot of things you can get right but the timing wrong.
You need to be betting in the right direction and to have the profile you’re looking for. In options, you don’t need to bet in the right direction but Todd thinks it’s best to bet on both sides. You’re betting on a portfolio of outcomes in options while you’re betting on the stock itself in equity. They can be used as two separate bets either against or with each other.
It’s better to start out betting on the thing itself rather than a range of outcomes due to the leverage and the number of ways you can go wrong with it. If you know what you’re really doing, there will be certain times when betting on options will be advantageous.
(1:22:58) Is texting one idea online more important than adding an open-ended question?
You want to avoid questions that need an answer online unless the vibe is really good. It’s fine if you are certain that you will get a response back. The question shouldn’t be asked if there is any uncertainty about getting a response back.
You could tease or challenge around it so you still have the flirty aspect of it even when she doesn’t respond. You still have an existent message without an answer to the question. You give her the opportunity to answer the question and elaborate without the risk of the conversation going flat and having to double text into a vacuum. It’s a lot better to have a flirty and fun interaction that implies the question rather than asking the question itself.
The idea of an open-ended question is to have someone respond to you a lot. The idea is to have someone open up to you. It can lead to a higher incidence of silence since it’s asking for a lot. Texting is not the medium for long questions. An open-ended question is a better strategy for live game or over a phone call and Facetime than in text.
(1:25:02) How can we get more in-fields with Todd?
There’s some in the System and Winner Game. There will be a couple in the Verbal Game Academy. Winner Game is a free resource to use. The System is highly recommended. There is one free Verbal Game Academy available to be used online.
(1:25:58) How much flatline should be in an interaction with a girl? What would the flatline be about?
Flatline is not a part of game. You don’t want that since it means “dead.”
Game should never be boring. You’re not trying to have boring elements of game. You want to have normal and nongamey parts.
What he means is “baseline and plotline.” The idea of baseline is that there’s a normal conversation. That normal conversation should still be good. You should be talking about things that you want to talk about. You’re still conveying value and telling stories. You shouldn’t be asking annoying or boring questions.
The ratio matters, but the matter is that the baseline should be good. There isn’t a proper ratio for every girl. Every girl is different. Some need a gamey approach while others need a more comfort-based approach. The phases will also be different.
Baseline is like having a normal conversation with your friends. It’s a normal interaction with a girl without saying something that would trigger emotionally, such as a push-pull. It’s not trying to set a particular frame about your interaction with her. It’s more about conveying who you are and telling your story. It’s still a huge part of game and framing, but not meant to be provocative.
Baseline and flatline are completely different. If your baseline is flatline, you’re going to have a hard time in game because you’re going to be very boring. You actually end up looking more gamey because of it.
(1:29:48) How do you deal with two different girls with two different blueprints?
It’s not really a factor unless if you’re trying to have a threesome. This can be tough but it is assumed this is not the case.
A relatable scenario is if you have the girl and her friend who have two different views on the interaction. You want to cater to the friend enough so you have permission to talk to the girl. Be catering to the girl’s frame when you’re one on one or there is intimacy.
A good hack is to tell the girl you’re into what you wouldn’t in front of the friend. If you want to be platonic and safe to the friend but dangerous to the girl, you can whisper in the girl’s ear “I want to bite you neck so much, but I don’t want to do it in front of your friend.” You’re showing that you’re willing and dangerous and creating sexual tension, but the friend thinks it’s safe. You can also be a little negative towards the girl so the friend is more tolerant of it than if you were to do a game style while you’re actively coming on the girl.
(1:31:27) How will verbal game correlate to the System? Will it be an open and close format?
It will be a slightly different format. It will still rely on the same underlying model that Todd has used in game.
The System was designed to be the framework. It was meant to be the absolute bare essentials needed in an interaction. It is used to see the different stages you need in an interaction, where you are at each phase, and what you do next. It’s the skeleton of game in a way.
Verbal game is how to execute on this framework. It’s like the muscles and tendons that bring the skeleton to life. The muscles and tendons are useless without the skeleton. The skeleton is also pretty useless if there are no muscles or tendons. It’s how to take the System to a deeper level and execute each of the stages in a specific and particular way. It’s great to have the System as a foundation for verbal game.
(1:33:33) If you meet a girl online out of state and can’t meet up, how do you keep the positive vibe going until you meet up with the conversation slowly fizzling out?
FaceTime or call her. It’s hard to keep a conversation exclusively on text. You should share social media so she can watch you and get a general vibe of you are.
Use the next best thing If there is a logistical issue when you should be taking the girl on a date. Use the best mode of communication. This will oftentimes be phone or FaceTime. If the girl is down for a date but can’t due to a logistical reason, it’s massively better to FaceTime or call the girl than to text her. It might even motivate the girl to move intrastate to meet up with you. Don’t settle for the worst mode of conversation and figure a solution with it.
(1:35:01) Can you expand on the proper delivery of Push-Pull in game format? How do you become subtle with your lines?
Understand that your negative spikes should not be insults. Your positive spikes should not give your power away completely.
You want to keep both within a range of how much you’re emotionally committing to one way or the other. Are you committing with “ You have no chance with me. I hate you.”? Are you committing with “You have me no matter what.”? You don’t want to be committing to either of those extremes. You want to keep the tension.
In general, Push-Pulls should be delivered playfully. There are times when you want to be harsh. You want to deliver Push-Pulls playfully 80% of the time. You want to be joking and be lighthearted.
Less is definitely more when it comes to delivery. Subtlety is absolutely at a premium. You’re not going to get a reaction if it ever comes off that you’re looking for a reaction. It’s better to be like “Yea, I don’t think we are going to get along. Let’s talk about something else” than “You and I will not go along!” because it seems like you care less about it.
The aloofness will make it less risky and make it land much softer. It’s also more powerful since it appears however they react to the statement is coming from them. People will believe in a conclusion that they came up with more strongly than one that was forced upon them. You want to have the inception elements where they don’t even know they got insulted and the thought that they inferred that it was a pushaway came from themselves.
Watching stand-up comedy is a good thing for punchiness and impactfulness in delivery. It’s really good for delivery. One comedic joke called “Setup and Punch” is literally a push-pull. This is when the audience is expecting one thing and you switch it on them and go the other way. The way the comedians express themselves, use pauses, create tension before the switch are all things you can learn for push-pulls. One thing to do is to watch a roast 1 out of 10 standups you watch where people are actively teasing others. If you want to learn about shit-test, you can search up how comedians deal with heckles for every 1 to 5 or 10 things you watch. You should check out standup comedians since they are brilliant in terms of their social communication, framing, and delivery.