There will be several scenarios provided. The question is “How do we take these ideas of being high-value in game and apply or not apply them?” Sometimes, only certain aspects of game should be applied the rest should be left to game.
Negotiate a Raise
One major difference between negotiating a raise and cold approach is that there is an established relationship in place. A lot of the negotiating for a raise should have been done well before actually negotiating the raise. You have to put your groundwork ahead of time. You can’t be on the point of almost being fired and negotiate a raise because you are a great negotiator.
The longer you are with a person, the more the person’s evaluation of you is going to be based on actual performance rather than social triggers. You’re going to notice more elements of the situation and becoming familiar with them so the impression you’re going to have is more holistic.
You should have a generally positive assessment when you go to negotiate. It’s not going to work if the boss is already angry or annoyed with you. There are several ways to negotiate a raise. One way is to simply go “Hey, I think I need to be paid more.” This could work if you’ve done such an amazing job that the company is almost exploiting you in terms of pay. However, this might not maximize the pie even in a situation where you are definitely getting a raise. There are probably more effective ways of negotiating.
The key concept is getting to know the other person’s blueprint. This is getting to know what the other person finds of value first. If you know you’ve done good work, you can start off by asking how your work has been and if you can help with something else. You can then tie that extra help to your raise. This is still a little too obvious. It also runs the risk of being given extra responsibility without the raise. What you can do is to offer help and talk to your boss about what their priorities are in terms of running the company and sell them on those ideas. You can then either ask of compensation in return for putting in more effort to make the vision work or have someone else take over some of your responsibilities. The key idea is to find out what their priorities and values are because they could be very different from yours.
If you talk to your boss about getting a raise, you are setting up a zero-sum scenario. For every dollar you get, the boss loses a dollar. This is a bad way to arrive at the situation you wanted to happen. You want to set up a situation where the boss views giving you more as getting more for himself. You can also set up false objections or obstacles such as being occupied with another project to get them to participate as well.
The key idea that will come up constantly is to find out what the other person wants first. Value is subjective.
The question is how to navigate in a social circle as a high-status guy or pick up girls.
This is a cold approach scenario with some limitations. If you don’t make an impression on an approach, you might see them again because both of you are at a friend’s party. You also have to act with consequence unlike in a cold approach.
You want to be a little more indirect about what you want. You want to be offering value before you go straight in and go after what you want.
It is a poor strategy if you only talk to a hot girl at a part and ignore everyone else. You would be offending several people at the party. You would be an affront to your friend who invited you. It looks very agenda and obvious. People will give you shit or derail you if they see this happening especially if it is a hot girl in demand.
Your goal in a party is to be introduced to the person you want to meet on favorable terms. Start by building social connections by talking to the host and the people who invited you. You will then be introduced to other people at the party who they talk to. It is better if you can do this while in the vicinity of the person. You want to be finding a way to offer value to the party and be fun and a positive influence once you start talking to the person and a friend who is in their circle.
If you don’t have that connection, there is still a lot more in common than in a cold approach in the fact that it is a party. You don’t need to do so much as quickly and make it man-to-woman like in other situations. If you’re friends with the same people, there is a decent chance of you orchestrating a way to meet up again without having so much pressure in that single interaction.
If things are going really well with someone, you want to isolate away from the party a little to have more one-on-one conversations. You can go take a walk out of the backyard or get a drink with her. You don’t want to be blatantly escalating in front of people who you constantly go to parties with.
The key thing is to play it slow. Enjoy the conversation and vibe with the people you already know. It’s also completely fine to not have an objective and just enjoy the party. Don’t escalate publicly. Don’t be “that guy” at a party.
At a networking event, short interactions can be expected due to more expectations of people mingling and being receptive. You don’t want to monopolize the time unless if it is a really good connection.
Networking at a social event is similar to a friend’s party. You just want to make social connections and get into conversations. You can think of networking as doing game without the man-to-woman premise.
The most important thing is to take action, especially in a situation designed for networking. Just talk to people. Don’t be shy and start conversations. Most people are walking around wishing to start a conversation and feel shy and awkward themselves. You’re probably helping them out just by saying “Hi.”
Discuss an Open Relationship
A great free resource is a Youtube video called “The Relationship Manifesto.” There is a whole section on discussing open relationships.
When you’re discussing the nature of a relationship, you have a choice of when to do it. You can ask from the start whether it is an open relationship. You also have the choice of being a high-value guy and giving a good experience to the other person while leaving it largely undefined. The more you can that high-value guy and have the girl come to you, the better the terms are for you.
The setup matters a lot for any situation where you are defining relationships or terms. Who’s coming to who? What is the framing of the conversation?