The Mentality of High-Value Men

How do high-value men think differently from low-value men?

The idea of self-reliance is a foundational key to being a high-value guy. 

There are different types of guys in the world. There is the guy who is constantly asking other people for help. There is the guy who is unsure of himself. There is the guy who is constantly checking other people’s opinions. There is the guy who is self-reliant.

You can think of this as an economy. You have these different people producing what they have to live on. Once there is a surplus, you now have an economy, and trades can happen. 

The first step in being rich is building a personal surplus. You’re not going to have value to share if you’re busy asking and begging from everybody else. Once you’re self-reliant, you have a platform from which to offer. 

Nobody is self-reliant in this world. Most people can’t do a simple task like building a pencil.  You’re going to be better off the more you are internally reliant or at least present an image of self-reliance to other people. 

The first thing to be is self-reliant rather than dependent. If you are dependent, you are going to have your own problems. 

People who have made the decisions to win or achieve something will do it more frequently than those who didn’t. You have to decide to win even it means sacrificing. You have to decide to win even it means being unpopular in the moment or an ugly win. 

Eight Ball can be used as an example. Most people walk up to the table and shoot the easiest balls. The actual strategy to win is the opposite. A good player doesn’t start knocking the balls into the pockets unless if they can knock all of them in. What should be done is to clear any problems you have and blocking your opponent using your balls. Most people won’t do it since it looks embarrassing to play defensive pool and not as cool as knocking a couple of balls in. Todd is a decent player because he’s willing to play strategically and ugly as opposed to just stepping up and doing the acceptable thing. 

This is an example of being willing to understand game and do what is necessary rather than looking at what’s good and what gets you that initial impression. It’s like going to the gym to look good compared to going to get actual results. Focus on the long term as opposed to looking good in the moment. Part of winning is “I want to win even if it’s ugly.”

The next idea is to grow up. Anybody under the age of 25 or even in their 30’s considers themselves as kids. As we grew up, we had the idea that there are “grown-ups” who know more than us and help solve our problems. At a certain point, we realize that we are the grown-ups and these people are just as dumb, if not dumber, than us. 

You have to take the idea of being self-reliant. At moments in life, you need to take care of yourself. You need to act as though you are the grown-up in the situation. You need to take charge because you’re going to be an effect rather than a cause. People, girls, in particular, are also going to gravitate towards you because a lot of people fundamentally don’t want to grow up and want to stay as a kid. It is not an accident that a lot of women tend to gravitate towards people who have similar qualities to what their father had. 

Take it upon yourself that you are a grown-up. Disabuse yourself of the idea of relying on other people. Disabuse yourself on the idea that someone else is going to be in charge and taking care of you.

Get rid of your excuses. Having excuses feels really good. Oftentimes, we choose what feels good instead of winning. 

What you should do is get to the mental point where it feels bad that you’re making an excuse. A lot of people go through life thinking “What are my excuses if I fail?” rather than “How do I succeed?” Get rid of that mentality since that will hold you back and prevent you from succeeding.