The Story of James V

James is one of Todd’s instructors who has been traveling with him for 1.5 years. 

Prior to learning game, he was a guy who had a small amount of success due to things that fell into his lap like social circles. He was rarely creating opportunities for himself. Due to him not understanding the game of value, he experienced massive losses compared to his very little success. 

A good thing was that he realized that he is a guy who should be getting more success. He decided something needed to change. James accidentally discovered game on an online forum and soon got addicted to learning it. This is now his 8th year since that moment. 

There were ups and downs and it took a while for him to get to the point where everything clicked. He was doing a decent job once he joined the program. He still had confusion in some areas but things skyrocketed after the program. 

There are several things James would say to his past self when he was experiencing sporadic results. A lot of guys make mistakes because they are afraid of what will happen if it goes wrong. It would make a big difference if his past mindset was “What will happen if I succeed?” rather than “What will happen if I fail?” There were times when he didn’t even try because he was too scared of failure. He also had terrible logistics. It is a big difference when you can walk out to the place you’re going compared to taking an hour-long subway ride to the place. James would tell himself to look at the areas in life he can directly control and think about how he could improve that to the best of his abilities. 

One of James’ biggest changes was his career change from construction. What he found out was that people in the trade thought they knew about girls when they actually didn’t. There was a lot of settling for averages and victim mentality. He learned that this was not the environment that he was meant to be in. He was looking at his seniors of 10 years and was not satisfied with their lives or how they handled girls. He saved up enough money to quit his job and traveled around Europe for one year. He was fortunate enough to be in a position able to change like that. 

James learned that the people around you is important for how you think about yourself and your direction in life. If you’re not a position to change, you should be at least aware that it is very important.  You should be careful of the information fed to you and the qualifications of the person feeding you the information. If you don’t feel like it comes from a qualified place, acknowledge it but don’t believe it. If you can’t change your situation, you should try to find other areas or people where you can get better information and will have a better impact on your life and direction. 

What does James see as the biggest differences between students and coaching staff? There are elements within being successful in some areas that will help you with women and some that don’t. Learning the elements that convey high-value is obviously important. You can apply the work ethic that comes from being successful to get better. The way that you communicate in work or to your boss is not going to be the same as when you communicate with women. It’s the technical side that helps you with understanding it. 

Behavior is very important when it comes to differentiating a high-value guy and a low-value guy. There’s behavior, understanding the behavior, and then understanding how to portray that behavior that doesn’t make you come off as low-value. You can have high-value behaviors or traits in your life, but your ability to communicate it to somebody else is also important. People who are financially well off are supposedly the guys who do well with women, but the problem is that they can’t convey it correctly. “Accidently” showing off an ATM receipt is a low-value way to display that you have money. Assertiveness is a high-value behavior that people mix up.It is being able to offer what you want or ask of things from people without acting offensive or like a dick.Understand the difference between “being” and “portraying.”

One of the elements James was good at before learning game was social calibration. Before learning game, he was relatively assertive. After learning game and that it was high-value, James learned to tap into assertiveness more. There were definitely times when he offended people. Assertiveness was something that he was a little more aware of and a little more natural compared to other elements. 

Conveying man-to-woman premise in a way that is blatantly chasing is one of the most common low-value things James sees in his students. The funny thing is that it is a part of learning. It’s not ideal but it is better than not showing premise at all. This is especially present in text when guys try to be overly flirty.  

When it comes to guys’ delivery, James sees so many errors that no matter what they’re saying, it says that they’re not confident or nervous in the situation. If you can portray yourself as somebody who’s relatively confident in what they say, it will make a big difference across your entire life. You can practice this in every social interaction you have. 

One of James’ go-to’s in setting up a frame in his favor is to have a mentality where whatever inspired him to start the conversation is as far as he is inspired and from there, he’s willing to know more but not completely sold. If the girl has as summery look, you can say “Hey, I love the summery look…” It’s not “I love your summery look. Let’s exchange numbers and go on a date.” It’s “I love you summery look” but you’re questioning if the girl has something else to show. This mentality that you’re not sold from the get-go is extremely useful.  

Something that James would change was when he was trying to improve his conversational abilities. This was when he learned self-amuse, get yourself in a good mood, and that saying whatever came to his mind was enough. The problem was that he did not understand fully what was high-value or low-value yet. This lead to the conversations being longer, but the quality of them did not improve at all. If he had learned structured game at the beginning, it would have been a much quicker learning process for James. 

There are several things in James’ UVP. The obvious part is that he is Australian. He is also a foreigner since he lives in Spain now. Another strong point is his worldly knowledge and how he understands how people interact and communicate. He is also independent enough so that he is not relying on the girl and trying to get things from her. You can convey these from how you communicate with the world and other people when you’re with women. When he was in Sweden with a girl, there were no seats available and he asked to use a seat from two relatively attractive girls. Most people tend to not do this small aspect but James was able to because he was being assertive. Another example is when you ask to change your food because it came out cold. If you’re able to do it in a way that you get what you want without upsetting anybody, it will improve the situation.

Delivery is key in communicating to help the girl realize you’re not the average guy. The first thing is if you’re conveying yourself as a confident high-value guy who believes he is high-value. The second thing is if you’re saying things in a way that is not trying to sell yourself out or seems too tryhard. A lot of people want to talk up the fact that they’re foreign. James actually talks it down because he’s not trying to wait for that reaction.When he gets asked what he does for work, he says “Oh, you know, I have to travel for work, but I mostly work from my computer.” He’s saying it in a way that ties it down. You can also make them ask you twice or make it work out of you like “Oh, you want to know? I’ll tell you in a minute.” It’s important to downplay the cool part of the interaction.

If you’re a guy who understands how to be high-value but can’t convey it, one thing to do is to write down traits that make you high-value. Once you’ve learned to believe yourself and build that belief, that will help with the communication behind it compared to when you say it without belief. Another thing to do is to write out the text you were going to send and think about the frame it’s coming from. If the frame is “I’m chasing” or “I’m selling myself”, think about the message being portrayed and learn it to flip it to a different frame.